Losing my husband felt like the ground had vanished beneath my feet. In deep sorrow and grief during the early days of my widowhood, I would often turn to the Seerah to find everything I could on how the Prophet ﷺ and his companions responded to times of emotional distress and loss.
Allah ﷻ says in Surah Ahzab:
لَّقَدۡ كَانَ لَكُمۡ فِي رَسُولِ ٱللَّهِ أُسۡوَةٌ حَسَنَةٞ لِّمَن كَانَ يَرۡجُواْ ٱللَّهَ وَٱلۡيَوۡمَ ٱلۡأٓخِرَوَذَكَرَ ٱللَّهَ كَثِيرٗا
“Indeed, in the Messenger of Allah you have an excellent example for whoever has hope in Allah and the Last Day, and remembers Allah often.” [33:21]
Having been named Khadija, I’ve always been drawn to her legacy.
Particularly during my years of cancer caregiving, I took strength and inspiration from her care for the Prophet ﷺ that granted her the honor of receiving the Salaam from Allah ﷻ Himself and Angel Jibraeel (as).
I studied her life as a young widow and devout believer who faced unimaginable trials with divine strength. Her story became my anchor – and I pray it becomes yours too, whether you’re grieving, caregiving, or simply seeking to live a life that pleases Allah ﷻ.
Beautiful Lessons from the Life of Sayyidah Khadija (ra)
Here are some of the most beautiful lessons from the life of Sayyidah Khadija (ra) that helped me breathe through the trauma of cancer caregiving, the heartbreaking loss of my beloved husband, and the pain of early widowhood.
- She embodied perfect faith and character.
- She lived for a cause beyond herself.
- She had foresight and wisdom well beyond her years.
- She displayed unwavering loyalty to her husband.
- She sacrificed everything she had for the Deen.
↓ PIN NOW, SAVE FOR LATER ↓
1. Sayyidah Khadija (ra) embodied perfect faith and character.
Even before the advent of Islam, her title among the Quraish was Tahirah because of her pure, noble character. She never lied. She wouldn’t slander, gossip, or backbite about others. She refused to worship idols.
After accepting Islam as the first believer, she was declared as the best woman of this Ummah.
The Prophet ﷺ said:
“Maryam, the daughter of Imran, was the best among the women (of the world of her time) and Khadija is the best amongst the women (of this nation).” [Sahih Bukhari]
What’s interesting to note here is that her perfection of faith was achieved before Salah, Zakah, fasting in Ramadan, and Hajj were made compulsory.
So naturally, this perfection and excellence that she attained wasn’t just in her outward ritual Ibadah, but in her Akhlaq (character), Mu’amlat (dealings), and closeness to Allah ﷻ.
Now compare this to the way we understand piety and righteousness today. We think the one who prays 5 times a day in congregation and fasts often has attained the highest level of piety.
I’m not discounting the importance of these forms of worship at all.
But the fact that Sayyidah Khadija (ra) had perfected her faith at a time when none of these outward forms of worship were obligatory, means that there has to be more to OUR faith as well.
Reflection
Between the rights of Allah ﷻ upon us (Huquq-Ullah) and the rights of other people on us (Huquq-ul-Ibad), Allah ﷻ is Lenient and Forgiving about the prior but very Firm and Just when it comes to the latter.
So this is something for all of us to reflect on…
→ How are you taking care of the needy, the orphans, and the widows of your community?
→ How are you stepping up as a righteous member of society when you see injustice all around you?
→ How are you bringing about the change needed in our oppressive culture and society?
2. Sayyidah Khadija (ra) lived for a cause beyond herself.
We learn from Sayyidah Khadija (ra) how to live a life of real virtue and contribution.
There was a specific part of her house that she had covered with a distinct cloth as a sign for the needy to know they could knock at this door and receive financial help. Her grace and generosity knew no bounds.
After she lost her first two husbands, she’d often spend her time worshipping in the Kabah or engaging in intellectual conversations with other noble women. She’d talk to them about current affairs, social justice, and academics.
Reflection
Again, this is a point for us to reflect on as daughters of Sayyidah Khadija (ra)…
→ How much of your time is spent learning new concepts, working on your personal development, and improving your relationship with Allah ﷻ?
→ If your days blend into one another with no real meaning added to your life or the lives of those around you – what are you really doing?
→ If you’re only living for yourself, wanting the next quick fix or instant gratification, how will you ever leave behind a meaningful legacy?
These are introspective questions only you can answer for yourself.
When life takes unexpected turns, the strength of your character and your faith in Allah ﷻ shines through.
Remember that you’re only ever one decision away from turning your life around toward a more productive path.
3. Sayyidah Khadija (ra) had foresight and wisdom well beyond her years.
She had the wisdom and foresight to choose the Prophet ﷺ as her husband, rejecting proposals from wealthy men for a noble orphan instead.
She admired him for his qualities and character. Like attracts like, and they were married.
Spouses know each other better than anyone else.
The eloquent manner in which Sayyidah Khadija (ra) vouched for her husband’s noble character and reassured him on the night of the first revelation has been studied as a testament to her wisdom throughout history.
Receiving the first revelation was a terrifying moment for the Prophet ﷺ, so much so that “his heart was trembling”.
In that state of fear and terror, he didn’t turn to his uncle or best friend, but rather went straight home to the person he knew would bring him the greatest comfort and solace – his wife.
Allah’s Messenger ﷺ returned with the Inspiration and with his heart beating severely. Then he went to Khadija bint Khuwailid and said, “Cover me! Cover me!” They covered him till his fear was over and after that he told her everything that had happened and said, “I fear that something may happen to me.” Khadija replied, “Never! By Allah, Allah will never disgrace you. You keep good relations with your kith and kin, help the poor and the destitute, serve your guests generously and assist the deserving calamity-afflicted ones.” [Sahih Bukhari]
An important point to note here is that when mentioning his qualities to console him, Sayyidah Khadija (ra) didn’t mention that one of his virtues was that he didn’t worship idols.
No, she kept the focus on his character and care for other people, which again tells us that we need to keep the focus on developing and improving our Akhlaq, Mu’amlat, and Taqwa as well.
4. Sayyidah Khadija (ra) displayed unwavering loyalty to her husband.
She endured humiliation, the divorce of her two young daughters, and mockery when her infant son died.
Any of these events would tear a mother’s heart apart, yet she stayed firm by her husband’s side.
If you think about it, when entering the fold of Islam, she didn’t know that she would soon be promised Jannah. She wasn’t foretold her high status in the sight of Allah ﷻ going into all of these hardships.
At any point, it would’ve been easier for her to back out than to keep holding on to her faith.
Considering that she was now elderly as well, it would’ve been much harder to cope with the emotional, physical, and social brutality meted out to the early believers.
Old age is a time when, compared to the vigor and energy of youth, you’re ready to settle into a peaceful routine and can’t handle too many disruptions.
Yet Subhan Allah, she never once wavered.
As time went on and the people of Makkah continued their persecution of the Prophet ﷺ and his companions, she was right there beside him, even enduring the social and economic boycott of Shib Abi Talib for three long, harrowing years.
5. Sayyidah Khadija (ra) sacrificed everything she had for the Deen.
She supported her husband and built him up, rather than use any opportunity that came her way to tear him down.
As partners, we all yield quite a lot of power and influence over how our spouse feels about themselves.
Sayyidah Khadija (ra) was always a source of Sukoon in her husband’s life, nourishing an environment of peace, love, and comfort inside the home.
And while it’s easy to be loyal and faithful to your partner when times are smooth, the fact that she stood by him in his toughest moments is a true testament to her loyalty.
From being renowned as the Princess of Quraish (Amirah Quraish) to being the wife of an exiled man.
From growing up in the lap of luxury and comfort to suffering from starvation and poverty for supporting the message of Islam.
She faced it all for the sake of Allah ﷻ, and He blessed her with the honor of His Salaam.
The Prophet ﷺ said that Jibraeel (as) said:
“O Allah’s Messenger ﷺ! This is Khadija coming to you with a dish having meat soup (or some food or drink). When she reaches you, greet her on behalf of her Lord (i.e. Allah) and on my behalf, and give her the glad tidings of having a Qasab palace in Paradise wherein there will be neither any noise nor any fatigue (trouble).” [Sahih Bukhari]
The Prophet’s Lasting Love for His Dear Wife
The Prophet ﷺ lost his uncle in the 10th year of prophethood. This alone was a huge loss for him, made considerably harder when his beloved wife Sayyidah Khadija (ra) returned to her Lord soon after.
The Prophet ﷺ was so grieved by the loss of these two pillars of support throughout his life and especially during his prophethood that this came to be known as Aam-ul-Huzn, the Year of Sorrow and Grief.
After losing my husband, I would often turn to the narrations of how the Prophet ﷺ coped with the loss of his dear wife.
These are some of the points that would bring me comfort in my grief:
- Her memory remained alive in his heart for the rest of his days.
- It was as if there was only Khadija (ra) in the entire world for him.
- He remained sorrowful for a long time after her passing.
1. Her memory remained alive in his heart for the rest of his days.
Years later, Sayyidah Zainab (ra) sent a necklace gifted to her by her mother Sayyidah Khadija (ra) to ransom her husband after the Battle of Badr.
When the Prophet ﷺ saw it, he instantly remembered that this jewelry had once belonged to his wife.
Seeing the necklace brought up a grief wave, a lifetime of memories and sorrow. His eyes immediately welled with tears.
I often think of this incident when I come across anything that reminds me of my husband.
The rush of memories and emotions that follows is validated by this reminder of the Prophet’s ﷺ own lasting love for his beloved wife and his grief over her loss.
2. It was as if there was only Khadija (ra) in the entire world for him.
He used to talk about her and mention her so often that Sayyidah Ayesha (ra) once said to the Prophet ﷺ:
“You remember Khadija in such a way as if there is no woman on earth except her.” [Sahih Bukhari & Muslim]
Imagine if he was this loyal to her after her passing, how great was the love and affection between them when she was alive!
He would give gifts to her friends and those who loved her. Even hearing the voice of her sister Hala (ra) who sounded so much like Sayyidah Khadija (ra) would deeply move him.
3. He remained sorrowful for a long time after her passing.
The companions mention that for a long time after she passed away, they didn’t see the Prophet ﷺ smile.
Look at how deeply he grieved for his beloved wife. He very well knew that she was destined for Heaven and that Allah ﷻ was pleased with her, but he missed her presence in his life in the Dunya too.
He once said:
إِنِّي قَدْ رُزِقْتُ حُبَّهَا
“Her love had been nurtured in my heart by Allah ﷻ Himself.” [Sahih Muslim]
And that’s such a source of validation for those of us whose loved ones leave this world. While we hope and pray that Allah ﷻ will pardon them and grant them Jannah, the fact that no one else can replace them or make up for their loss is still so heart wrenching.
To know that the Prophet ﷺ grieved his wife and missed her all his life is a source of comfort for every heartbroken widow and widower who has lost their beloved partner.
May Allah ﷻ bring comfort to every grieving heart and may He reunite us with our loved ones in Jannah. Ameen.
