I first came across Maryam Munir’s work through her Facebook group on Respectful Parenting. When I found out she had published a book, I couldn’t wait to get my hands on it!
We later chose it as one of our reads for The Reading Nest, the online book club I’ve been facilitating since 2023.
And I’m happy to say that Cycle Breaker did not disappoint one bit. It was everything I hoped it would be and more.
Maryam Munir’s writing is equal parts gentle and powerful; she has a way of holding space for your pain while guiding you toward healing with compassion and clarity.
The book doesn’t just speak to parents – it speaks to anyone who’s ever felt the weight of their childhood trauma and longed to do better, to be better, for their future.
It’s the kind of book that stays with you, nudging you toward self-awareness, compassion, and change long after you’ve turned the last page.
In Cycle Breaker, Munir does teach you how to parent your children with love, compassion, and respect. But she also goes much deeper:
She gently guides you through the process of healing your inner child, validating your pain, and breaking generational patterns so you can cultivate the atmosphere of unconditional love, authentic connection, and emotional safety you never experienced in your own childhood.
What makes this book stand out is how seamlessly it weaves together psychological research, Desi cultural realities, Islamic teachings, and lived experience.
Munir makes respectful parenting feel less like a far-off ideal to strive for and more like a real, intentional practice you can begin embracing today.
Key Insights from Cycle Breaker
Here are some of the lessons that stayed with me long after I finished the book.
1. Healing begins with awareness.
Unless we’re willing to do the hard work of uncovering and healing from our childhood trauma, we’ll continue to repeat the same toxic patterns that have been passed down through generations.
Awareness is the first step toward healing.
2. Generational healing takes time.
The trauma carried through generations can take at least a couple of generations to fully heal. This reminder was deeply comforting. It releases us from the unrealistic pressure of fixing everything in our lifetime.
As long as we do the work and plant the seeds of change, that’s already enough to shift the narrative for those who come after us, insha Allah.
3. You’re allowed to walk away when you’re being disrespected.
You don’t have to stand there and absorb someone’s unkindness. Preserving your dignity and emotional safety is an act of self-respect.
Walking away from abusive or disrespectful conversations is not weakness. It’s self-preservation.
4. Kindness starts with you.
You can be good to yourself and kind to others at the same time. The two are not mutually exclusive.
5. The thinking brain is still developing well into your 20s.
This insight — that our thinking brain matures between the ages of 25 and 30 — was an Aha! moment for many of our book club members.
It reminds us to give grace to ourselves and to those younger than us who are still growing emotionally and mentally.
6. Anger is a sign you feel unsafe.
Munir reframes anger as the nervous system’s healthy response to feeling unsafe.
When we recognize this, we can focus on restoring safety — for ourselves or our children — instead of reacting with shame or guilt.
7. Motherhood is not a performance.
Your worth as a mother is not measured by how much food you cook, how well your children eat, or where they sleep.
Revolutionary concept, isn’t it?
Especially in cultures that tie a woman’s value to her domestic labor and self-sacrifice.
Favorite Quotes
“Each feeling is a messenger and tells the story of a need.”
“A good mother-in-law is created thirty years in advance – when she creates space for herself and takes care of herself.”
“Cycle-breaker parents are so brave, aren’t they? Not only do they make the courageous choices daily of being different from their own parents, but they also carry the pain of their own inner child while also striving to be loyal and respectful to their own parents.”
“When you can find the courage to be yourself, no matter how silly, serious, talkative, or quiet you are, you’ll allow other people who are like you to gravitate towards you. These will be your people.”
Book Club Member Reflections
Here’s what some of our Reading Nest members had to say after reflecting on the book.
“My biggest takeaway is that, no matter how many times we mess up, we have a chance to start all over again. It is never too late to be a cycle breaker.”
“Biggest takeaway for me would be how to regulate yourself on the autonomic ladder before responding to a situation. Parenting is a constant ‘work in progress’ so there is always room for learning and improvement. It’s okay to make mistakes.”
“One thing that really stuck with me from ‘Cycle Breaker‘ is the idea that you don’t have to have it all figured out to start making positive changes. It’s the act of taking that first step, despite your fears and doubts, that sets everything in motion. I’m also resonating deeply with the importance of shame resilience – recognizing how it shows up in my own life and how I can work to break the cycle of shame for myself and my kids. This book has given me a lot to think about and work on.”
“My biggest takeaway from the book is hope. Hope that I can do better for my kids, that I’m already the best mother for them, that if I just keep at it with sincerity, my kids will thank me one day for the work I’ve done.”
Final Thoughts
Cycle Breaker is more than just a parenting book — it’s a mirror, a guide, and a gentle companion for anyone ready to heal, unlearn, and reparent themselves. Maryam Munir writes with warmth and wisdom, giving voice to what so many Muslim and Desi women feel but can’t always articulate.
For anyone who grew up in an environment where love and respect had conditions, this book is an invitation to begin again and be the change they want to see.
Let’s Read Together
If you enjoy books that inspire self-reflection, healing, and growth through an Islamic lens, you’ll love being part of The Reading Nest.
It’s a warm, reflective space where we read, reflect, and grow together — one book at a time.
