As I turn 30, I find myself looking back at my 20s — a decade full of love, heartbreak, growth, and lessons I never thought I’d be learning this early on.
If there’s one thing I know now, it’s that every joy and every trial carried something I would later need to keep going. Allah ﷻ was preparing me for a greater purpose all along.
And since life is lived forward but only understood looking back, here are 20 important lessons I’d pass on to every Muslim woman navigating her 20s:
- Self-care is not selfish — it’s Sunnah.
- Some people come as blessings, others as lessons.
- Never beg for love or approval.
- You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.
- Real love doesn’t always feel like fireworks.
- The right person will make you feel safe.
- Signs of Allah’s Love are all around you.
- Don’t burn yourself out seeking the Rizq that’s already written.
- Life is always in the small moments.
- Invest in your health early.
- Healing is not linear.
- You will outgrow yourself time and again.
- Live a life aligned with your values.
- Vulnerability is your biggest strength.
- People leave — by choice or by decree — but Allah ﷻ never does.
- It isn’t over until it’s over.
- The only thing permanent in life is change.
- Grief isn’t something you “get over”.
- Don’t torment yourself searching for the “why”.
- Hope is an act of faith and resilience.
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Love (Relationships, Self-Love, Divine Love)
1. Self-care is not selfish — it’s Sunnah.
Slowing down, breathing deep, taking naps, being present: this is how you honor the Amanah of your own self.
2. Some people come into your life as blessings, others as lessons.
Sometimes the blessings turn into lessons too. Pay attention to the people in your corner. They’re the only ones that matter.
3. Never beg for love or approval.
What’s written for you will come with dignity. It won’t require you to shrink or cut off pieces of yourself to be palatable.
4. You teach people how to treat you by what you tolerate.
Period.
5. Real love doesn’t always feel like fireworks.
Often it’s quiet, steady, and full of mercy. This is the love that transcends time and space.
6. The right person will make you feel safe, not small.
The person you feel most yourself with — that’s the one.
7. Signs of Allah’s Love are all around you.
In the depths of your pain, you’ll find Divine Signs that show you He’s right there with you. Just keep turning back to Him.
Life (Personal Growth, Career, Faith, Identity)
8. Don’t burn yourself out seeking the Rizq that’s already written.
You can’t do everything at once. Work hard but also learn to prioritize, delegate, and let go of what doesn’t belong.
9. Life is always in the small moments.
Cherish them. Take the photos, write about it, and celebrate the normalcy of your everyday messy life.
10. Invest in your health early — body, mind, and soul.
Research proves that lifestyle habits developed and maintained in your 20s have a significant impact on your health in middle age. So how are you taking care of yourself?
11. Healing is not linear.
When you think you’re going round and round in circles, you’re actually spiraling upward into the best version of yourself.
12. You will outgrow yourself time and again.
Let it happen. One day, you’ll come back to who you were as a child — but this time, you’ll love and protect her the way she deserved.
13. Your heart will never be at peace until you align your life with your values.
Peel back the layers of societal norms and cultural expectations to discover who you really are. Only then will you be able to create an authentic, joyful life for yourself.
14. Vulnerability is your biggest strength.
Choose your audience wisely, but never shy from speaking your truth. You deserve to be seen.
Loss (Grief, Hardship, Resilience, Faith)
15. People leave — by choice or by decree — but Allah ﷻ never does.
Loss will break you open — and bring you closer to Allah ﷻ. Allah ﷻ doesn’t want your heart to get lost in the Dunya, which is why He keeps calling you back to Him.
16. It isn’t over until it’s over.
As long as you’re breathing, you can turn your life around. You can change the narrative, do the work, and build an absolutely beautiful life for yourself.
17. The only thing permanent in life is change.
Life is just one big transition after another. The sooner you learn to roll with the changes, the sooner you can enjoy what every season offers you.
18. Grief isn’t something you “get over”.
It’s something you learn to carry. You can miss someone with your whole heart and still move forward.
19. Don’t torment yourself searching for the “why”.
Trust that Allah ﷻ knows the wisdom behind every test, even if it’s hidden from you. Every test carries within it the seeds of a gift.
20. Hope is an act of faith and resilience.
Never let go of it. Holding onto good expectations of Allah ﷻ (Husn Dhan Billah) might be the toughest battle you fight when life tears you down, but it’s also the only thing that will keep you afloat.
Your 20s aren’t about having it all figured out — they’re about becoming, learning, unlearning, and returning to Allah ﷻ through it all.
If you’re in this decade, embrace the lessons.
If you’ve passed it, carry them forward.
And if you’re yet to enter your 20s, know with certainty that Allah ﷻ will hold you through every twist and turn, insha Allah.
