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Can you remember the last time you felt like YOURSELF? When you felt completely present in the moment, felt content with who you are, felt exhilarated by knowing your purpose in life?

No? If you feel lost, these might be the reasons why:

  1. You’ve gone through a major role transition (left school, got divorced, got married, had a baby, or something else altogether) and haven’t yet had time to catch your breath.
  2. Life seems monotonous and you feel like you’re living on autopilot. Nothing new or exciting ever seems to happen so you’re bored and stuck, living the same day over and over again.
  3. You feel disconnected from who you used to be, not sure who you want to be, and in this weird space in the middle where you’re not satisfied with who you are in the present.

If any of the above sounds like you, trust me, I’ve been there. Somehow, sometimes it’s weirdly possible to experience all 3 of the above at once, isn’t it?

Based on my own experience and the tips I’ve shared with women I’ve coached over the years, here are some ways you can get unstuck and find meaning in your life again.

  1. Make peace with the season of life you’re in.
  2. Practice consistent self-care.
  3. Embrace discomfort as a sign that you’re changing.
  4. Sit with yourself in a quiet place and reflect.
  5. Don’t get caught in the trap of catastrophizing. 

1. Make peace with the season of life you’re in. 

Some days, weeks, and months may be more for service than for self-focused living. Rather than resist and resent this, be grateful that you have people in your life Allah has placed for you to take care of. 

“If nature has made you for a giver, your hands are born open, and so is your heart; and though there may be times when your hands are empty, your heart is always full, and you can give things out of that—warm things, kind things, sweet things—help and comfort and laughter.” – Frances Burnett

If you’ve been through a trial and you can still feel the lingering impact of trauma, be gentle with yourself. Sit with your grief. Don’t suppress any negative feelings that come up. Let them come and go, all the while reflecting on the lesson you were being taught. 

[READ: 3 Affirmations to Bring You Peace in This Current Season of Life]

2. Practice consistent self-care. 

When was the last time you took time for YOURSELF?

If it’s been longer than you can remember, then it’s time to pay attention to yourself now.

The more busy and overwhelming life gets, the more you need to slow down so you can take care of yourself. Even if it’s just a short walk in nature, a chat with a close friend, or 15 minutes of journaling, do something that centers you and helps you de-stress.

3. Embrace discomfort as a sign that you’re changing. 

Do you know how lobsters grow?

When their hard shell becomes confining, they get unsettled and feel tension in their body. They go into hiding at the bottom of the ocean, where they shed their old shell and develop a new, bigger one.

Then they come back up and enjoy the change, until they grow enough that the new shell also feels too small, so they repeat the process. 

For lobsters, growth is a process of shedding uncomfortable old shells and developing new, spacious ones.

When one shell doesn’t fit, they grow out of it into a one that does.

When their comfort zone gets so comfortable that it becomes confining instead, they decide it’s time to grow a more spacious shell.

So if you’re in that place where you feel stuck, lost, and ready to change – don’t let the discomfort of the unknown scare you into staying in the same place.

Embrace change, discover something new, dedicate yourself to growth and personal development. That’s the only way to live a full and fulfilling life.  

4. Sit with yourself in a quiet place and reflect. 

Every day, you’re getting closer to meeting Allah – are you proud of the life you’re living? Are you leaving behind a legacy that will serve you in this world and the Hereafter? 

If you find that you’re not, what are some small steps you can begin taking today to change that? 

The distance between where you are and where you want to be shouldn’t scare you – it should inspire you to live a better life, one step at a time.


5. Don’t get caught in the trap of catastrophizing. 

Instead, find all the reasons in your life to feel hopeful and optimistic about the future. Just because there are certain hurtful patterns that keep repeating in your life thus far doesn’t mean they have to do so any further. 

You can learn better. You can become better. Things can change and improve – it’s all in your hands, through the willpower and capabilities given to you by Allah ﷻ Himself.

Feel stuck? Feel lost? 

Decide that it’s time to get unstuck. It all begins with a decision. Decide today that it’s time to change and discover, re-discover, explore, get to know and believe in the wonderful person you are.

If you feel a safe, non-judgmental space would allow you to better get to know yourself so you can live a focused and happy life, sign up for a free consultation here and let’s chat to see if we’ll be a good fit for 1-1 coaching!


Khadija Khan

Khadija Khan is a mental health and spiritual wellness coach. With over 5 years of experience, she is passionate about helping Muslim women heal from depression and anxiety to find joy and fulfilment in their lives. She writes on the topics of Islamic spirituality, relationships, parenting, and personal development. Continue Reading...


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