Do you ever find yourself wishing that if only the countless hours you spent at school had prepared you better for dealing with the challenges that adult life would bring?
When I began to train as a life coach, I had no idea how revolutionary my journey would be for my own self-discovery and personal development. I was learning practical tips that would actually help me deal better with life and its challenges.
If I shared everything I learned on my journey to become a life coach, I’d end up writing a book! But here are some of the most important lessons I learned.
1. Everything is achievable.
Everything is achievable, with the right strategy and mindset. The only thing preventing you from getting what you really want in life is your way of thinking.
When we take full responsibility for our thoughts and actions, we have the power to accomplish whatever we want in life.
2. Becoming proactive, not reactive.
We may not control everything that happens to us, but we can control how we choose to respond to it. We feel different emotions by choosing the part of events we focus on.
There is definitely wisdom in seeing the glass half full all of the time. When we choose to see the glass as half full, we use every setback and negative event as an opportunity for growth. Hence, we become proactive rather than reactive.
3. Desiring growth and challenges.
Desiring growth and challenges rather than just pleasure and happiness is an important aspect of maturity. Challenges in life sharpen your skills, broaden your mind, and help you evolve into a better, more authentic version of yourself.
If you live your life fearing change, you’ll remain stuck in the same place forever. And if you live your entire life in the pursuit of happiness alone, you will never find lasting fulfillment. Happiness comes and goes but it is fulfillment we need to pursue in life.
4. Self-evaluation and reflection.
Sound character develops through self-evaluation, not self-criticism. Extend grace to yourself and others for being flawed, imperfect humans.
Rather than waste your energy seeking perfection, commit your life to being a better version of yourself today than you were yesterday.
5. Admiring the right people.
“People become who they most admired at the age of 10.”
On one hand, this means we should strive to act as an appropriate role model for the young children around us who observe and admire us.
On the other hand, we can apply this knowledge to better understand ourselves, the people around us and the reason for their behavior.
6. Judgment destroys trust.
Judging others hurts the trust in relationships. Without trust, you can’t bring about any lasting positive change in someone’s life. Being compassionate and understanding is sometimes all a person needs to heal.
As humans, we have a profound desire to be heard, to know that we are seen and understood. This is why our willingness to listen and understand is the greatest gift we can give to others.
7. Avoiding distractions.
Learning to say no to things which are not important and not urgent is essential for achieving any type of goal in life.
A task which is neither important nor urgent is just a distraction. It will not help you grow and nor will it bring you closer to what you ultimately want to achieve in life.
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8. Being mindful of your mortality.
Envisioning your death often helps to bring everything into perspective. If you need to evaluate your priorities, work on your interpersonal relationships, find motivation to grow, then just imagine how you want to be remembered.
Every day, are you moving toward or away from leaving behind a legacy that will continue to benefit you long after you’re gone?
9. Ladder of inference.
There is usually a vast difference between what we intend to say, how we say it, what others hear, and how they interpret what they hear. We can use knowledge of this “ladder of inference” to avoid misunderstandings in our communications with others.
Rather than jumping to conclusions, ask first – “what did you mean by that? I heard you say this, did you really mean to say it the way it sounded?” Allow people to clarify themselves and their intentions.
Giving people the benefit of the doubt more times than not helps to establish stronger relationships.
10. Giving back.
We all have something positive to contribute to society. A lifestyle geared towards “getting” things in life might bring fleeting moments of happiness here and there, but it won’t bring any lasting satisfaction.
True fulfillment and joy in life comes not from getting, but from giving – giving time, giving our services and talents, giving from the money and resources we have, giving from our health, giving back to others so that we leave the world a better place than we found it.
Did you find these lessons useful? I’d love to hear your thoughts. Comment below to let me know which of these lessons made you have an “aha!” moment.
Khadija Khan is a wife, mommy, certified life coach, and Islamic counselor. She is passionate about helping Muslim women reach their goals in all areas of life. She writes about things like Islamic spirituality, relationships, parenting, and personal development. Continue Reading…